James H. Osborne

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When You Think Nobody Is Watching

A few years after my injury I used to take daily walks around the neighborhood. Around 3 years out from injury I was on a walk and a Fedex truck drives by, pulls over to the side of the road about 100 yards ahead of me on the opposite side and comes to a stop. He gets out of the truck, crosses the street and starts walking toward me. Sensing some anxiety my body immediately began to seize and constrict, making it nearly impossible to walk. I stopped. He approached me with a big smile, stuck out his hand and we shook hands. He introduced himself as Mike. He went on to ask how I was doing, and was curious to know what was ailing me - a bad knee, injured hip? I said it was something much more involved but didn’t elaborate. He went on to say that he been driving this route for years and had observed me walking on a regular basis, noticing steady improvement in my speed and gait. He said he admired my consistency and persistence in all sorts of weather conditions (sans snow and ice). He went on to say that he had wanted to stop and tell me this for months but due to his compressed delivery schedule had been unable to do so, but today he decided to take a few moments. With tears in my eyes I thanked him for taking the time to stop and tell me this. He gave me a hug and said he had to get back to his deliveries. I shared this story with my mental health therapist and she remarked, “you know Jamie, you offered Mike something - hope.” She continued, “you never know what is going on in another person’s life from which they may draw hope and inspiration from what you are doing in your recovery.” Sometimes in my moments and I have plenty of them - frustration, anger, sadness, depression, pain - I forget that it is not just about me. I do get selfish. Everyone reading this and many others lift me up, give me hope, keep me going. This reminded me that I'm giving something too - to the Fedex man, to my neighbors, family and friends - you. Whatever it might be it makes me feel good that I can.