Overcoming

While living in Phoenix a few years ago I met a man in the local gym named Paul. Paul was a self-proclaimed “gym rat”, 5 years older than I and a total stud. While stretching on the mat after a workout we introduced ourselves and struck up quite the conversation. He shared with me some of his life’s journey, including a very tragic event where he sadly lost one of his three sons to a motor vehicle accident, strangely enough less than ½ mile away from where we had been working out. Somehow his son’s pickup truck edged off the side of the road, struck a telephone pole head-on and exploded in a ball of fire. His son never had a chance. I could feel heartfelt emotion as he told the story. I shared my story, as he had observed for some weeks my awkward movements in the gym and was always curious to know what had happened. After I finished he went on to tell me that one of the things he was most proud of was “overcoming” this terrible tragedy in his life. Notice that he didn’t use the overcame as in past tense, but the ongoing, hard fought journey of continuing to overcome such unimaginable loss. He asked what I was most proud of. I said to that point I hadn’t really thought about it. I said I had to agree that I was with him, that I too was proud of overcoming, not as if it was something I had achieved but rather was achieving, every day, every hour, every moment of every day. Although I don’t see Paul anymore now that I am back in Seattle I will always be grateful for the bonds we formed and for his gentle, watery-eyed reminder that loss like we have both experienced in our lives is an ongoing, day-day to struggle to overcome. Be well my friend.

Mornings

I have been asked on occasion what gets me up every morning. My frank answer is that it is often a struggle, fighting through the overnight hours of frequent awakenings caused by pain, extensor cramps and bladder needs. Despite these I always have goals in my mind for the next day, usually starting out with an early morning workout. The goals for the day extend beyond exercise, whether it is things I want to accomplish at work, website, book or speaking events. The goals give purpose and drive me to push through the headwinds and inevitable resistance this cruel and relentless injury poses. I have a focus now, and that is doing something I haven’t done very much in my life - giving back. For the better part of my 60 years it has often been about me, my professional ambition, my physical fitness, my well-being. I now know there is a larger purpose for me, and that is to use my story, experiences and learnings to affect positive change in the lives of others, especially those facing some kind of life infirmity, not just spinal cord injury. Another factor that drives my daily focus is my two incredible children who in their own ways have suffered as a consequence of my injury. I owe it to them to give my best every day. I want them to know that their father committed to fighting the good fight, aspiring, persevering and prevailing on my terms. Leaving a legacy of commitment, resolve and determination matters a great deal to me and hope those are characteristics they will embody in their own lives.